Big Hat Sally Ruins my Nuts
Being right or wrong can definitely be in the eye of the beholder. I would assume that our gardening habits are quite infuriating to the animals around our lives. The same way that we don’t want rabbits eating our lettuce, they may not want us to dig up their nuts. Well, this is what I imagine goes on in their heads:
“No joke. All day! Well… maybe a few rounds with the neighbor dog around the fence, but I still keep my eyes open, ya know?”
“.. and here comes fu*king Sally with her big ass hat and digs around in my yard.”
“As if you don’t have better things to do. Go buy a new stupidly large hat, Sally. I am working here!”
“Worst part: She just THROWS the nuts away. Like I didn’t work hard for that shit, na-mean?”
“While I have never appreciated a nut-thief, this is worse: Can you imagine someone coming into your house, taking your things, JUST to throw them away? Infuriating, isn’t it? Why even steal my nuts, if you didn’t want them in the first place, SALLY??!”
“This is mainly a diversion tactic, but this method has been passed on to me through generations in my squirrel family: Humans apparently don’t like it, when you throw things at them. Well, I don’t like my nuts stolen. Fair is fair.”
“The audacity. I mean, have you heard of such rudeness before? I am the victim here, I tell you. Sally has been pulling this shi* on me for YEARS!”
Lets be kind to all. Throw sticks at squirrels. Fair is fair.
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